Oh, hi. Funny seeing you here. No idea you’d be dropping by this page. Didn’t plan anything witty/clever/funny/smart/outrageous to tell you about myself. But hold on a sec. I think I can microwave something up.

I like people. Prefer them over many other mammals. Was even a psychology major just ‘cause at UNC because I like them so much. Social psychology is my favorite. Sex psychology is my alter ego’s favorite.

I’ve been writing since I was four. Early works included, “Nosebleed Dad” and “A Bee is a Bee.” Latest works include this sentence.

I am internationally famous to a select handful of people who remember that night at the club in Singapore. I was also ranked #5 in the world in junior women jump (an event in competitive water skiing.)

I used to rock out integrals and science fairs. Nowadays, I rock out garage band.

I own a gold ice cream scoop for eating more chocolate ice cream in five minutes than a dairyholic and this dude named Tommy. (It's all about a steady pace.)

On Memorial day, I bowled a 190 after drinking a few styrofoam cup beers. I celebrated with more beer (in a glass) and a text to my mom.

I’ve been 5’7.5’’ tall since the 7th grade and a Leo since August 22, 1985. My favorite game is Twilight Zone pinball and my first word was "dog."

If I could be a metaphor, I’d be the ice cube your friend slips down the neck of your shirt.

If I could be a simile, I'd be like a metaphor. Similes don't know what they want to be yet.